The Remote

           

         
         At first I was going to basically write a bull shit post that was about nothing because i figured no one in my group would even bother looking at it. We've had such a crazy bonding week that I know they're as tired as I and don't want to read any more than I care to write. But then I thought to myself what about all the rest of my adoring fans, who revolve their weeks around my witty words of wisdom and alluring acalades of advice... not to mention my stunning alliterations right? I would be depriving the world of the ravings of yet another great philosophizor (new word) who is bent upon making the world a better place for all. Well so much for not bull shitting... Anyway I decided to write about something short but important all the same. I was going to write about how men and women can't be friends, but that's to complicated and has way many more points to cover than I care for. That's a post that will be among the ranks of "sex" and "romance". however that s not the case now. I've decided to write about something that all men can appreciate and all women can learn from: the television remote.
           Ah the TV remote. The golden scepter of entertainment, that rules the leisure time of all men. With it he can control all things around him. He makes his own destiny with this great wizards staff. By everything I mean nothing and by destiny I mean the amount of time he wastes between meals. I mean lets be real right now guys why do we need the damn remote all the time. I mean its a little black box that sends out digital signals to our TVs. Maybe its because we like to click things. Men have this unnecessary need to tinker with everything. It becomes a real pain in the ass when you in class or at a fancy restaurant and you have to sit there stare someone in the eyes and talk to them. Or maybe it has something to do with that masculine solitude I talked about yesterday. We can just pull into our own world and block out everyone else mindlessly changing station after station until we finally escape this life and find ourselves in another that's more exciting and more free of all thought.
           Ha
           No we like the remote because it means that someone else can't have it. It gives us power over the TV. We can do what we want and no one is going to stop us. Its that sense of power that we want. we control what others are going to watch and no one is going to control us. Life doesn't have many of these moments where a man can have the control. And that's the way our society is set up. A man isn't really a man unless he has control of something. It's true. It isn't good to be at the bottom of a power ladder. I mean why not? it means less decision making less people angry when you mess up and less logistical stress. But no in our society men need to have control of somebody in order to be a real man. The CEO controls the managers, the managers control the supervisors, the supervisors control the grunt man, the grunt man controls his family. This a really old and really outdated system that is slowly fading. However this is still the underlying idea of most family lives. Men who have no control of anything, not even their family, are looked dow upon and humiliated.
          So ladies, I guess that explains why you should allow you man to control the remote. You can stop his humiliation infront of all of society....

Hahahahahaha i really hope my girlfriend saw that. Though it was the biggest load of shit I have ever churned out I must say that I put up a good argument. But no seriously ladies the reason why we control the remote to the TV is because we want to watch something on TV. all you have to do is ask and we'll give it to you. If we don't its because we like what we're watching and we know all of you will just change the channel to project runway or whatever that shit is. So for your future advice ladies: guys love the girl that knows when the game is on. So turn it to that. Because if you let your man watch what he wants he will literally do anything else you ask him.