Romance

            

Today I was going to discuss with you hygiene but with Valentine's Day being Tuesday I thought it would be better to talk about a subject that many men tend to avoid in public: Romance.  The media makes romance out to be a "chick thing."  Think about it: romantic comedies are often given the label "chick-flick."  Romance novels are considered to be women's books and are often written from a woman's point of view. Guys are supposed to be into blood and guts and gore and not that girly romantic crap right? Men aren't supposed to be romantic, they are supposed to be tough and women are supposed to be the sappy ones right? Wrong.

          I feel most men are more into romance than they let on.  I know I enjoy doing little romantic things for my girlfriend. I buy her roses just because I can. I'll grab her if I like the song and just dance with her. I take her out on candle lit dinners and go on long walks with her. I don't do that stuff simply because she likes it, but because I enjoy doing it.  Most men won't admit it though. Our society won't allow it. It is thought to be emasculating.  Men are supposed to be bored with this stuff, do it because they want to get into the girls pants. I find this to be absolutely ridiculous. When I take my girlfriend out on a date or buy her flowers I do it because I enjoy seeing the look on her face, and because, in my opinion, it is the way that a man should treat his woman. I don't expect anything back, I just want her to be happy because when she is happy I am happy.  

          Society wasn't always this way. Actually romance was considered a feminine thing until the sexual revolution took place in the 60s. Before this the little things we consider "sappy" today, such as helping a girl cross a puddle or the man being the one to ask out the girl, were considered commonplace.  However, with the dawn of the sexual revolution women began to consider these things to traditional, and lopped them in with other more sexist traditions. These practices began to fall out of fashion until they were considered wrong for men. This is usually how cultural trends tend to develop.  A practice is considered to archaic and eventually it is considered wrong because a new tradition takes its place. According to our society, this new development considers romance "out-dated" and "for the old people." Things like asking for a girls hand in marriage from her father before actually asking her, are now considered old world and foolish by the media and societal norms because they are supposed to restrict a girls decision making. It also makes guys look less masculine, by even knowing romantic things they could do for their women. This is why most guys won't talk about the romantic things they did for their girlfriend with out being considered gay, when in fact they are as far from gay as you could get.

          I think though that while society might say men aren't romantic, that is not the case at all.  I think most men would, given the choice add a little romance into their life because, like me, they find the smile on their woman's face more important than whether or not they are being made of behind their backs. However, I really don't find that my friends make comments when I do romantic stuff for my girlfriend. In fact more often than not they are the once saying how cute they find it or giving advice as to what I should do. I find that most men are very traditionalist in their views on romance. Many men would go that extra mile to help a woman. You'd be surprised at the amount of men who would do those little things, like help a woman over a puddle in the road, or treat her to a candlelight dinner. And on that same note there are a lot of women out there who appreciate what the man is doing when he tries to be romantic. They don't see him as week or effeminate at all. In fact I got into a conversation with my girlfriend as I was writing this, and she said that my romance is what made me so attractive to her. A guy is more likely to get a girl by being romantic then trying to pick her up so you can sleep with her the next morning.

          So what exactly are those romantic things that we can do? Well I'm kind of a tradionalist on this topic.   I am the kinda guy that is into the old school Cary Grant kind of romantic. I like to surprise the girl with flowers ad try to sweep her off her feet.  For example, before I began to date my current girlfriend we were in a play together ad we had rehearsal the day before Valentine's Day. I gave each of the girls in our cast a rose, but after rehearsal when it was just the two of us, I came out of my car with a doze roses just for her. Another classic romantic thing you can do is just to ell her exactly how beautiful she is. Not because you have to but because she is. I say good night to her the same way every night and good morning the same way everyday. These little romantic things not only make her happy but help to keep the relationship going. Society might label it as cheezy but these are the traditional ways of going about a relationship. A small thing like slow dancing like they did way back when is nice because its not threatening sexually, but still shows her you care about her and like her in a more intimate way.

          Traditional romance hasn't died out. The media and modern society might try to kill it and label it as fantasy but it is still alive and well. Some of the best relationships still flourish because they still have that old fashion romance. And for those of you who feel that old fashion romance is gay, or sexist, then tell me this: when was the last time you were actually completely and totally enjoy the company of a significant other? 

Next week...
Hygiene :0 (no really this time)