Competition

       

Before I start I want to say this is directed to the women out there who find sports and competition is general a waste of time.  If your one of those ladies who loves to watch a good football game or get in their and show up the guys, kudos. This does not include you and I apologize for any generalizations I may make for you are not included. With that in mind:

 Guys, let's face it... we are competitive son's of b****es. Its the truth. We compete over EVERYTHING!! Women, jobs, even how big our... cars are. We love to compete against each other. I'm not saying that women don't do the same thing, however they don't have an inner drive to compete against each other like we do.  Whether its simply friendly competition, or a fight to the death, as men we will compete against each other for smallest of reasons.

           Now like I said before, our competitions aren't always good. It's just built into our nature. Biologically males of the species tend to compete for the female.  It's a known fact that males compete to impress a female for the purpose of procreation.  So we compete based off of a biological necessity to make ourselves look good for our women.  Now back in the olden days before we had culture and morality, and we relied solely on competition to resolve issues. Often this resulted in one of the competitors deaths but when we rely on basic animistic instict this is what happens.  Eventually this competition escaped from the relm of one on one to a team competition, often between different tribes. We call this war. Isn't that really all war is anyway? Two sides competing over something, whether it be land or power or women.  War is just a really big really deadly competition. However without it, modern civilization would not be what it is today. This is most likely why we saw men ruling the world for so long. I know this will be controversial but the men were the one's fighting because it was just a part of our biology so we were the ones who strong-armed women, taking power. 

           Eventually as time went by and we became more educated we refined our idea of competition. Out of this came one of mans greatest inventions: Sports.  Sports were a way for people to settle disputes without killing anybody (most of the time).  The earliest and most famous example of this, were the Olympics of ancient Greece.  The Olympics were a way for the cities of ancient Greece to show off their strength and compete angainst each other in less destructive and violent way. On the other hand, those same ancients later became the fans of sport. They grew to watch others kill each other in gladiator combat especially in the heart of Rome. This transferred from physical competition to supporting an athlete in a game.  The audience would chose sides and by supporting a certain athlete compete through them, with no physical violence to themselves.

          Now we can move away from the more boring side of male competitive spirit and just talk from the heart.  As men, we like to compete. Women do to but their form of competition is a little different. Women compete with more passive aggressiveness, a sort of "keeping up with the Jones" mentality. Men tend to be more blunt due to our biological need to fight. That's not to say women don't share in these shenanigans, but most of the time the idiots duking it out in the parking-lot next to the bar are guys. We will challenge each other to just about anything: Who can drink the most, who can eat the most, who takes the biggest s**ts. We like to feel superior to each other because, like I said before, we have that inner need to show off.

          Like the men of ancient Greece we cherish our sports.  Men like sports because it is yet again another for of competition for us. Like the ancient Romans, by supporting others we feel a sense of competition within ourselves.  Granted we aren't watching people kill each other, but we do feel emotionally connected to the players in the field. It allows us to get out our competitive violent side without hurting others.  That's why when a good game is on, many men are shouting at a TV as if they were part of it.  We feel emotionally invested in the wins of others.  It calms us and allows us to get out the tension and emotion in our lives. 

          Playing a sport is an even better example. Many high school and college age men play sports simply because they need a physical outlet for the hormones telling them to fight. For me it was football and lacrosse. For others it can be as simple as tennis (they tend to be angrier if you ask me though).  The running jumping, pushing, shoving and/or throwing forces us to physically engage ourselves in a state of false combat.   It appeases our hormones and also allows us to release anger stress and just have fun! 

         My girlfriend once told me she thought football was barbaric. She was never into sports. Many women are, but many of those women also come from strong male based families. Ari doesn't. She doesn't understand why a man would force himself to endure pain and induce pain on others.  Well their is one simple reason my love... Those lovely things called testicles force me.

          So in conclusion I want to say this. I want any of you women like my girlfriend and find footall barbaric, try to watch the guys in your life on Sunday.  I know myself as a large Pats fan have already gotten wound up.  The Superbowl is the embodiment of modern male competition and now I hope you can understand why we act so crazy when its on. To those women who already understood, I want to apologize. You are the types of girls we guys love because you completely get and allow our idiotic behavior and often join in.  It just makes things more fun for us.

Next week....
Romance